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Welcome to todays diary entry! Today was another one of those days where just making it from opening to closing feels like a victory in itself. There’s this heaviness in the air—like every step takes twice as much effort as it should. I keep telling myself “just get through today, just one more day,” but it’s hard when the finish line feels like it keeps moving further away.
I’m finding it difficult to bring my best self to the shop at the moment. Usually I can dig deep, find that little spark, and keep things moving along. But right now, it just feels like all the gears are grinding. I look around and all I can see are jobs that need doing, problems that need fixing, and messes that need clearing. It’s relentless. Even the team can sense it. I try to keep things light, keep morale up, but some days you just can’t fake it.
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What’s doing my head in is how tasks I’ve done for years—simple things that used to be muscle memory—now feel like I’m learning them for the first time. I stand in front of the till or sit down with the new system and suddenly I’m second-guessing myself, triple-checking things that used to be automatic. And despite all that effort, mistakes still slip through. I’ve always prided myself on getting stuff right, so when the basics go wrong, it knocks me for six. There’s a frustration there, and if I’m honest, a bit of embarrassment too. I feel like a rookie, not someone who’s done this for years.
The worst part is how lost I feel. I’m not afraid of hard work—I never have been—but it’s different when you feel like you’re spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere. Even with the team, I want to be the guy they can look to for answers, the wingman, the problem solver. But lately, it feels like I’m more of a passenger than a driver, and that stings.
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Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know it’s not forever. I know things will eventually click back into place. I’ve been through tough patches before—maybe not quite like this, but I know what it’s like to be on the ropes. And every time, it’s just about hanging on, getting through one day, and waiting for that bit of good luck or that tiny win to kickstart the momentum again.
If I’m honest, I’m just crawling towards Friday now. I’ve got a day off lined up and I’m clinging to that like a lifeboat. Just a proper break from the shop, the warehouse, the mess, the screens and the never-ending to-do list. I need that reset—just a little space to breathe, regroup, and hopefully come back with a bit more of my old self. I’m hoping a day out of the chaos will help me remember that I do know what I’m doing, and that I’ve come back from worse.
So, for now, it’s just about keeping my head down and grinding it out. No heroics, no miracles—just putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe tomorrow will feel a bit lighter. Maybe not. Either way, I’m still here, still showing up, and still giving it what I can.
That’s all anyone can ask, isn’t it?
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