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Welcome to todays diary entry! Big milestone today—Rory has officially started nursery. 16 hours a week, free childcare. On paper, that’s a massive win. It gives us a bit of breathing room, a bit of structure to the week. It makes work and life just that little bit easier. But emotionally? It’s knocked me for six.
It’s a strange one, this. I knew it was coming. We’d been through the taster sessions, we’d had the chats, prepped the little bag, labelled his water bottle. But nothing quite prepares you for the moment—the one where you walk away and realise he’s doing something without you. I think I was holding it together okay until that first drop-off when we turned back, and I saw the tears welling up in his eyes. He tried to be brave, but then he cried. And I’ll be honest—I had to fight back a few of my own.
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Apparently, he was fine about 20 seconds later, distracted by a plastic orange of all things. One second he’s clinging to me like his life depends on it, the next he’s absolutely buzzing over pretend fruit. Classic Rory.
But it all just hits you in waves, doesn’t it?
There’s a strange ache that comes with this part of parenting. You spend all this time nurturing them, guiding them, keeping them safe—and then suddenly they start stepping out on their own. And you’re proud, of course you are. But it stings. It really stings. I’d freeze time in a heartbeat if I could. This age he’s at now—where he still wants to cuddle, still says the funniest things, still believes you’re the strongest person in the world—I wish I could bottle it. Keep him here. Keep him small. Keep him safe.
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But that’s not how it works. He’s growing up, whether I’m ready or not. And part of being a good dad is learning to let go a little, even when it feels impossible.
That said, knowing he’s happy once he’s there, knowing he’s making little mates and playing with fake fruit and singing songs—it’s a comfort. And we’ll all adjust. It’s just another one of those big little moments that make parenting the hardest and most beautiful job you’ll ever do.
🗓️ Cofton Countdown: 42 Days to Go
This afternoon I found myself thinking about that first morning in Cofton. Pulling up, flipping the seats around, getting the kettle on. That’s the balance, isn’t it? These parenting milestones, the work chaos, and then those little spaces in between where you just breathe. Can’t wait to catch up with Mandy and Feegs, let Rory run wild with no timetable, and just be off-grid in every sense of the word—for a full week. It’s coming.
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