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Welcome to todays diary entry! At long last, I finally managed to get the motorhome off Blakemere this afternoon. It felt a bit like the end of an era rolling out of there, and I have to say, I can’t speak highly enough of the Blakemere team. They’ve been nothing but accommodating—letting us stay longer than planned, turning a blind eye to the chaos, and just giving us the space to get everything sorted.
That kind of support makes all the difference and it’s the sort of thing you don’t forget in a hurry. It’s rare to find a venue that’s so laid-back and genuinely wants you to succeed. I’m honestly grateful and if I get the chance, I’d do it all again there. Some places you leave and you think “never again,” but Blakemere has shot straight to the top of my list for a repeat.
But now that I’ve finally shut the door on the showground, the real hard work begins. There’s something about the “aftermath” that hits differently. It’s like a weird comedown after all the adrenaline and hype of the event itself—suddenly it’s just you, a mountain of stuff, and a to-do list longer than your arm.
The shop is in bits, the warehouse looks like it’s been ransacked, and everywhere I turn it feels like there’s another mess that needs sorting. The “after-show” is never glamorous—there’s no applause, no adrenaline, just a lot of untangling, heavy lifting, and trying to get everything back to square one.
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What’s making it harder this time is trying to get my head round this new system we’re using. All the old routines that I could do with my eyes closed are gone, replaced by new screens, new logins, and a thousand little things that slow me down and make every job feel twice as hard. The team are in the same boat—everyone’s a bit unsure, everyone’s second-guessing what to do next, and it just adds another layer of stress to what’s already a tough week.
If I’m honest, it’s been tough on me mentally too. I’m used to being the wingman—the fixer, the problem solver, the guy who gets things done. But right now, I don’t feel like any of those things. In fact, I feel like I’m dragging the business down. There’s this creeping feeling that instead of making things better, I’m just adding to the chaos. The brash, confident version of me that everyone sees is mostly just a mask—I’m my own harshest critic, and the truth is that behind the scenes, I spend half my time worrying I’m letting people down.
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It’s hard not to dwell on what I “should” have done differently: Should I have planned the pack-down better? Should I have said no to the new system until after the show season? Should I have pushed for more help, or organised the warehouse before it all kicked off? Hindsight is great, but it doesn’t change the fact that right now, I feel like I’m treading water.
Still, as much as I’m struggling, I know the only option is to keep showing up, keep moving stuff one bit at a time, and keep trying to support the team. Eventually the chaos will settle and things will start feeling normal again—at least, that’s what I keep telling myself. We’ve been through tough patches before and always found our way out. I just hope it happens a bit quicker this time, because right now, it’s all feeling a bit much.
But that’s the job, isn’t it? Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going—even when you don’t feel like you’re winning. One day at a time, one box at a time, and maybe, just maybe, a win will turn up when you least expect it.
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